Performing Dolls — Ken

 

(Disclaimer: Everything stated here is the author's perspective and do not reflect the fanbase I belong to.) 

—This is a five-part blog—

Snob & Unhappy

It's easy for people to have their own opinion about something they don't fully understand. It may not sound right, but that is just the way it is. We see something and we already have a million things to say about it, especially when it's about people. Many of us have been through the same at some point, and it's an awful experience. Even when we claim that we don't care about what people say, we would be lying if we say we're not affected. Words are the most powerful weapon a person could possess, and we all have it. The worst problem is that we don't know how to use it properly.

Progress gave us the freedom of speech, a luxury that our ancestors didn't have back then. It was a beautiful thing to have the right to express our feelings and thoughts without the fear of imprisonment or death. Humans being humans, we don't know how to treasure the gifts we have. Nowadays, people would throw words without repercussions. This freedom and human's natural capacity to be hurtful is a dangerous combination, and when mixed with our incessant need to judge, the result can be catastrophic.

Ken has the most swag and the most confident artist in the music industry nowadays. The way he carries himself is like he's without a care in the world, but what do we really know about how he feels? Every time he faces the crowd, he has this serious aura and impeccable fashion. His posture and the way he walks exudes so much confidence that makes a lot of people uncomfortable, but many thinks he doesn't give a rat's ass about it. Is it true? Why don't we step back a little?

First and foremost, do we know what introversion means? According to Merriam-Webster, it means the act of introverting or the state of being turned inward or upon oneself or itself. Introverts feels more comfortable and safe inside their own world. Psychology Today said it's not that introverts don't like people or fear them. They are not even lonely people who sink back to their lonesome most of the time. Their brains simply work differently compared to others.

I remember one of their last Showbreak episodes when they had a vacation at the De Dios's vacation house where they were asked to pick a room. While the others chose the biggest room, Ken preferred the smaller room that could only accommodate one or two people. He said he feels safer in a smaller room, and he also mentioned once that he feel the same wearing hoodies. I don't consider myself as an introvert, but I can definitely relate. For me, I have had some awful experiences around people that made me feel safer when I'm alone.

I don't know what made Ken an introvert. I don't have the right to know if he doesn't want to share more of his personal life, which is the main point of this blog. I've seen people make comments about how he doesn't smile much, or why he doesn't participate in their group activities like the others and I also used to wonder about that. I've gotten to a point where I questioned why he was like that, but then I realized that I'm judging him without understanding. Like I said, I don't consider myself an introvert but being in large crowds used to terrify me. Just like him, I don't smile or talk very often when surrounded by people I don't know.

As I observe him, I realized he's actually doing his best to overcome his introversion, but people judging him left and right is certainly not helping. If Stell was the favorite target of bullies who find pleasure in making fun of people's looks, Ken had become the center of attention for those who love to spread rumors and allegations. He's been branded a few derogatory names and even if he walks and talks with that "angas", we can be sure as hell that he had been affected by those accusations. Whether he acts broken up about them or not, he's just a human being who feels different kinds of emotions. I've learned that not because someone looks happy or okay doesn't mean they truly are, so we ought to be more careful and considerate of others. 

 Ken may have all the swag and confidence in the world, but he is not impervious to emotional breakdowns and heartaches. His laughter is a music in itself that gives us happiness, especially that we don't always hear it. Seeing him laugh like it'll be the last time brings smiles to so many people, but if we don't see it, perhaps we should be more understanding. If he doesn't want the spotlight on him, that's not because he's unhappy with his brothers or he doesn't want to part of the activity. Some people have a low social battery and others are not comfortable socializing. Instead of questioning him or judging, why don't we be more understanding of him? Doing something we are not comfortable about is not easy, sometimes scary even.

Being a part of an industry that requires so much from a person, it's normal for someone to have defense mechanism or to put up some boundaries. That is well within a person's rights. It's not his job to change who he is to please us. It's his job to be presentable and produce good music, that is it.